Annie Proulx: Close Range

I was attracted to this collection of short stories because one of them is Brokeback Mountain, a tragic love story of Ennis and Jack, two young cowboys. However, by reading all the other stories, one can better understand the society in which their love happened. The author describes the ranchers of Wyoming, their material and spiritual poverty. 

Among all characters of dozen stories in the collection, one doesn't find dreams or hopes, or anything remotely positive. We encounter the hard life of ranchers governed by economic forces they don't understand and the tough physical labour they have to do. The author treats honestly their sexual desires, the brutality of their relationships and the iron cannon of established rules. 

In her other book about the Midwest province, That Old Ace in the Hole, I didn't encounter such depression and lack of opportunity as in this collection of stories. The stories reminded me of the book by John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath, where he describes the life of a Texan peasent family during the depression of 1930ties. However, besides all the difficulties, one still could look up to the character of the mother as the beacon of hope. Here, in Wyoming, there is no such character. After reading the book, I don't have the slightest imaginary wish even to visit Wyoming, let alone live there.  On the contrary, I am strongly attracted to large cities who allow the freedom of spirit. 

The book can be ordered through Book Depository.

Geneviève Brisac: Week-end de chasse à la mère

On est introduite doucement dans un monde fragile de Nouk et son fils Eugenio. Ils habitent dans un petit appartement à Paris et on les suit dans ses promenades et ses achats des oiseux. L'histoire est écrite dans la première personne qui donne l'air intime, comme on est vraiment dans la tête de Nouk. On peut sentir son amour pour Eugenioet comment elle garde le monde de sa petite famille contre l'intrusion du monde extérieur. Elle est préoccupée par Eugenio et sa vie est centrée sur les besoins de son fils.

On rencontre les amis de Nouk et les femmes avec lesquelles elle travaille dans une bibliothèque. On est gentiment poussé vers le week-end en Bretagne où elle va passer le Noël avec la famille d'une amie. En regardant la mer avec son fils, il exclame : "Je n'ai rien vu d'aussi magnifique, jamais", a dit mon fils, d'une voix mal assurée et j'ai en l'impression fugace d'avoir rempli mon rôle sur terre. Et là, elle va être trahie, mais je ne vais pas dire plus ici.

Pendant la lecture de ce roman, j'avait une impression encore une fois que la langue française est fait pour parler de la vie intime, la vie intérieure. Chaque fois, je me sens immergé dans un autre monde et la langue est directe et simple.

Le roman est obtenu le Prix Femina en 1996 et on peut le commander chez Fnac. Ce roman était très librement adapté cette année au cinéma sous le titre Non ma fille tu n’iras pas danser.

Poqueerene priče

Krenuo sam tražiti zapise gay tematike u hrvatskoj književnosti, pa sam našao i ovu knjigu - Poqueerene priče - objavljenu prije pet godina. Knjiga je skup od tridesetak priča izabranih od tristotinjak priča pristiglih na natječaj. Priče su pisali autori s bhsc jezičnog govornog područja, što uključuje Hrvatsku, Bosnu i Hercegovinu, Srbiju i Crnu Goru.

"Queer" u ovoj zbirci znači sve što je pomaknuto, na granici ili čudno, i po tome je puno šira odrednica od gay tematike kojoj je okosnica iskustvo gay pojedinaca. Knjiga je dodatak festivalu filmova Queer Zagreb koji se održava obično na jesen. 

Ima zaista različitih priča, a neke koje su mi zaista zapale za oko su It's a heartache od Jelene Remetin koja jako suptilno govori o ljubavi jednog queer dječaka prema umrloj majci koji nailazi na potpuno odbacivanje od strane svoga starijeg macho brata. Tu je zatim polu-fantastična Kolačići od Kristine Vlašić koja govori o lezbijki Tess koja se prilikom vođenja ljubavi sa ženama uvijek udeblja, te posve jeziva priča Pad bez navedenog autora, koja na neobičan način miješa pitanje ljubavi i invalidnosti. 

Postoji i nekoliko intenresantnih priča ispričanih iz perspektive muških hetero-junaka, te kako se oni odnose prema homoseksualnosti kao fenomenu koji susreću u svom životu. Homofobija na Balkanu je prisutna u nizu priča, i zaista je neizostavna. Tek ju je jedna priča uspjela ismijat: priča Countryside Dušana Mihailovića. Našlo se tu i priča koje je bilo teško razumijeti zbog svoje neobične forme, a i onih koje možda ne bi trebale biti uvrštene. Ali ipak se radi o izboru koji je načinio žiri sastavljen od: Vladimir Arsenijević, Boris Dežulović i Rujana Jeger.  

Knjigu možete naručiti preko Superknjižare. 

Alain de Botton: The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work

I could not resist from buying this book when I saw it in a bookshop in Zagreb. I have already enjoyed author's Status Anxiety, but not so much The Art of Travel. I include this book here, because it really reads like a collection of short stories, even if documentary in nature. It certainly isn't a collection of essays. 

In each chapter we are given a peak in what is it to work in a particular profession, usually through one of the characters. We track a character, sometimes the author himself, through a typical day or a typical work cycle. We encounter accountants, painters, biscuit makers and so on. We learn how interconnected our world is, from fishermen in Maldives to the tuna steak on the dinner table in Bristol. This is perhaps the strongest insight of the book: to show us the base of our everyday life. 

Since the book is mostly documentary, you won't find a philosophical essay on the general purpose of work. You will find individual stories, aspirations and troubles, all connected to the workplace. Unlike in Status Anxiety, you won't find a practical how-to guide to solve your worries, boredom or lack of perspective. However, you will definitely not want to become a CEO of an accounting company, and you may look at electricity grid or logistics network in a slightly different way.  

The book can be ordered on Amazon. Translation exists in Croatian. 

Anne Wiazemsky: Une poignée de gens

C'est une histoire d'amour entre Natasha et Adichka dans un monde qui disparait. Situe en Russie, dans l'époque juste avant la révolution en octobre 1917, Natasha et Adichka sont le jeune couple. Adichka est propriétaire en campagne, l'aînée d'une grande famille. Natasha est très jeune et elle fait beaucoup de faux pas dans ce nouveau environnement.

Dans le livre, on apprend de différent membres de comounauté russe: les paysans, la famille aristocrate d'Adichka, les servants, les soldats, les bolcheviks. Mais, le texte est fixé sur la famille, où on voit les différents relations entre ses membres. L'auteur parle de leur histoire avec intimité. On peut comme-même voir que cette vie est fragile et on peut sentir l'imminence de la catastrophe.

Le livre est écrit avec la langue très simple, facile à lire, mais en méme temps ça donne une légèréte et fragilité. Comme la vie que l'auteur décrit.

La seule critique est qu'il n'y a pas de sensibilité pour les autres, il n'y a pas de la reconnaissance de réalité dans laquelle la plupart les gens ont vécu. En même temps, ça décrit parfaitement la distance entre cette famille aristocrate et le reste du monde.

Le roman est reçu le Grand Prix du Roman de l'Academie Francaise en 1998. On peut le commander à Amazon.

Zadie Smith: White Teeth

In this huge, but very well written book, the author describes the life of first- and second-generation immigrants in London in the latter half of the 20th century. In four chapters, each centered around one of its characters, we learn the innermost feelings and crucial events in the life of cca 15 characters, some of them Muslims, a middle-class English family, a Jehovah witness, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters and grandmas.

Some of the events are spectacular, for example when Samad kidnaps his own son and sends him to Bangladesh to become a good Muslim, something he himself failed to be in his own eyes. Although condemnable at first sight, we get the insight into how Samad feels and what has brought him to do it. All of the characters are fabulously interwined, and we get a lot of group dynamics.

In case you want to have a peak into contemporary Britain from various perspectives, this is really the book to read. The author uses a lots of humor, and the quality of insight is so great that one begins to wonder how can somebody so young do that (Mrs Smith was 25 when she published it). Through out the book, one can feel tensions arising in each character, and it reads like a good thriller. You will not want to leave the book aside.

This is the author's first book and it got several awards in 2005. You can order it through Amazon.

Pierre Gandelman: Le seule femme de son fils

Il y a seulement deux caractères dans cette courte histoire. Au début, on apprend de la vie d'une jeune femme qui vit dans une ferme et après elle vient dans une grande ville à travailler dans un atelier de mode. Après son mariage, son mari est mort et elle reste seul avec son fils. Jusqu'à la fin on suit l'enfance, l'adolescence et la vie adulte de son fils. Ce caractère du fils est très particulier. Il ne connait pas les gens sauf sa mere, il ne sort jamais. Quand sa mère est mort finalement, il est incapable à se occuper de lui-même.

Il n'y avait pas un grand traumatisme ou une grande erreur de sa mère dans son éducation. Mais pourquoi est-il aussi bizarre, on ne comprend pas. C'est la principale critique de cette livre. Le caractère du fils est très intéressant, mais le raison pour son état d'esprit n'est pas présenté. On le regarde dehors, comme le médicin dans l'hôpital, comme le narrateur qui le regarde mais qui ne peut pas voir sa vie intérieure.

Le roman était publie en 1995 et il est reçu le prix Femina du Premier Roman. On peut le commande chez Amazon.

Miljenko Jergović: Freelander

Glavni lik romana, Karlo, je profesor povijesti u mirovini, kojem je nedavno umrla žena. Sam i bez djece, rođen u Sarajevu, živi u Novom Zagrebu. Tada mu stiže jedan telegram u kojem ga izvještavaju da mu je umro stric, te da treba doći na ostavinsku raspravu u Sarajevo. On kreće na put automobilom, te prolazi Slavonski Brod, Derventu, Zenicu i Sarajevo. Na putu se miješaju njegove impresije o sadašnjosti, te njegova sjećanja iz prošlosti.

Roman je istovremeno portret jednog čovjeka čija se egzistencija proteže između Bosne i Hrvatske, te društveni komentar prošlosti i sadašnjosti tog prostora. Osnovna teza je da čovjek negdje mora pripadati, a Karlo ne pripada nigdje. Iz knjige je sasvim jasno da je ovaj prostor pun onih koji mjere pripadanje ljudi oko sebe, bilo gradu, državi ili naciji. Karlo na to mjerenje pristaje, ali nigdje ne vidimo što misli sam autor o tome.

Osim Karla, jedini lik koji donekle upoznajemo je lik njegove majke. Ostali likovi su tu samo kao predstavnici raznih grupa, te su predstavljeni tipski, bilo da su to poljski turisti u Hrvatskoj, stanovnici Sarajeva, ili konobari. Na to se veže i autorov osobni komentar na svaku od ovih grupa, tako da knjiga ponekad postaje zamorna i udaljava se od priče i glavnog lika.

Roman se može nabaviti kod izdavača, Naklade Ljevak.

Le livre est disponible en français aussi (site du web).

Predrag Crnković: Beograd za pokojnike

Radnja romana odvija se u Beogradu u zadnjih dvadeset godina, gdje pratimo Peđu kako preživljava, doslovno ne imajući što za jesti u određenim periodima. Pratimo njegovo tumaranje po dućanima, krađe hrane, traženje posla, želju za bijegom iz zemlje u vrijeme raspada, te dobijemo i poneku sliku njegovog društva u kojem se kreće. Negdje oko polovice knjige, slika koju je autor predočio je toliko depresivna, da sam morao uzeti pauzu i slušati glazbu na engleskom, kako bi se oporavio. Ostatak knjige sam čitao uz glazbu. Pretpostavljam da je to zbog toga što je situacija tako bliska, te se je lako uživjeti u nju.

Roman je pisan kroz isječke, koji nisu kronološki poredani. Jedini lik koji je donekle prikazan je onaj Peđine majke, koja umire od raka početkom devedesetih. Ostale likove u Beogradu ne upoznajemo, osim u vrlo tipiziranim ulogama, kao provalnike, svećenike, književnike, studentice, penzionere. Tako da nam ostaje samo Peđina impresija grada kao slika Beograda, a Peđa je sam. Potraga za hranom bitan pokretač glavnog karaktera, ali osim nje ne nalazimo ništa više - ni nade, ni ambicije, ni borbe. Je li to faličnost Peđe kao karaktera ili je Peđa metafora grada koji je potpuno rezigniran da je to suvišno i tražiti?

Ovo je drugi autorov roman, objavljen nakon nagrade VBZ-a za najbolji neobjavljeni roman 2008. godine. Možete ga kupiti ovdje.

Richard Yates: Revolutionary Road

I enjoyed this book very much, probably the best book I've read in years, comparable to Vanity Fair of Thackeray or Point Counter Point of Huxley, by the ability to look deep in the soul of its characters. It's a story of a young married couple, Frank and April Wheeler, who are unhappy with their life in a suburb of New York. They are in their late 20ties, and yearn for another, more fulfilling life. Frank does a boring office job in New York, whereas April is a housewife. As they try to escape their life, by making a plan to go and live in Paris, the tragedy slowly starts to unfold.

Although one could say that the author made a story out of nothing, the strength and authenticity of each character is amazing. If you saw the movie, you can still read a book and be pleasantly surprised. That's what I did. Apart from good dialogues, in the book you will find also an inner world of Frank and April, which cannot be put on screen. The author's sharpness in presenting the subtlety of their innermost feelings is incredible. In the book, we also get more to the core of each character, their history is explained, and their current actions are grounded in what has happened before. The author jumps between the present and the past with great ease.

The book was the first book of Richard Yates, and an entry in the finals for the National Book Award in 1962. The movie reached the screens this year. You can order the book on Amazon, and for the DVD you have to wait till June.

Svetlana Gjoni: Nula Nemo

Autorica priča o jednom odnosu majke i kćeri, i nemoguće je ne zaključiti da priča sadrži jako puno autobiografskih elemenata. Upoznajemo majku koja živi u Zagrebu, te pratimo njen odnos s kćeri kako ona odrasta u Zagrebu, te kako kasnije odlazi na slikarski studij u Beč. Majka kroz odrastanje svoje kćeri upoznaje cijeli jedan svijet, Zagreb osamdesetih i Beč devedesetih.

U prvom planu je ipak odnos majke i kćeri, gdje se majka u potpunosti predala brizi o kćeri, do te mjere da ona sama svoj život ni nema. Njezine želje su želje njezine kćerke. Kćerka je pak prikazana kao vrlo samoživ karakter, čiji je jedini cilj biti uspješna slikarica. O njenim ostalim odnosima s drugim ljudima, ne saznajemo. Jedino je tu njen gay prijatelj Venio, koji je njen prijatelj s faksa, i koji je uvodi u tajne proživljenog života. Ipak, nailazimo na niz različitih likova, poslovnjaka koji trguju s Rusijom, potomaka hippy kolonija, sveučilišne profesore, gasterbajtere itd.

Usput doznajemo kako je bilo ići u školu u klasičnoj gimnaziji u Zagrebu, kako je to upasti na Akademiju likovnih umjetnosti u Zagrebu ili Beču, te kakav je svijet umjetnika u Beču. Taj zadnji dio je jako zanimljiv, naročito u pogledu količine nekvalitete i šarlatana koji se bave umjetnošću. Opet lekcija, da su ljudi svuda ljudi, sa svim svojim manama.

Knjiga je jako dobro napisana, i priča je uvjerljiva.

Autorica je za ovaj prvi roman dobila VBZovu nagradu za neobjavljeni roman 2007. godine, te je možete kupiti ovdje.

Edmund White: A Boy's Own Story

In this partly autobiographical book, the authors tells the story of his puberty, as he struggles with his homosexuality. The story is set in the 1950s in USA. The first chapter starts with his encounter with a friend and their first sexual experiences. Whereas his friend is only interested in the sexual side of their relationship, the narrator develops deep feelings and he struggles with them. Following chapters follow first his encounters with a psychiatrist which are meant to cure him from his homosexuality, and then a move to a residential boy school, which is also supposed to help him.

The book is considered a classic. It is indeed very well written, and I was really drawn to the story. It is told from an "I" perspective, so it really reads like a memoir. We encounter a number of different characters, the author's immediate family, his fellow pupils and teachers. We also follow their reactions when faced with narrator's homosexuality. The narrator is not shown completely as a naive angel, since there is also a shade of dark that we discover towards the end. However, this twist is not completely convincing.

The book can be ordered on Amazon.

Mark Doty: Firebird

This memoir covers the childhood and early adolescence years of the author. It is situated in Tuscon, Arizona and Tennessee in the fifties and sixties of the 20th century. We watch the growing-up of a young gay man, who also happens to have strong artistic leanings.

We also gain insight in the dynamics of his family. His sister gains her independence by marrying and having a child, still in her teenage years. His father is an engineer, always busy and absent. The author has the strongest bond with his mother, but they start to drift apart as she slowly becomes an alcoholic and as he enters into puberty. The book is written in a chronological order documenting an implosion of a family, but with a real-world happy-end.

The book has a very slow pace, and one is not immediately drawn into the narrative. There is a special atmosphere, where shows the author as an introverted observer of his surroundings. Yet, his story-telling seems to have a gentle touch, like things around him have a certain fragility to them.

The author has a website, and the book can be ordered on Amazon.

Dalibor Šimpraga: Anastasia

Glavni lik romana - Goran - je student povijesti umjetnosti, živi s majkom u Zagrebu, te radi u jednoj privatnoj firmi. Radnja je smještena negdje u devedesetim godinama. Kroz roman, osim njega, upoznajemo i njegovo društvo, koji su kao i on, izgubljeni u nekom prijelaznom razdoblju, između mladosti obilježene studijem i slobodom, te srednjih godina obilježenih poslom i obiteljskim životom. Kako roman napreduje, svaki od likova iz društva se definira i nalazi. Za Gorana to uključuje pisanje svojih snova, razgovore s psihijatrom, te odlazak na godišnji odmor u Makedoniju, zemlju njegovih predaka.

Osim glavne radnje, knjiga je ispremješana s Goranovim snovima, te njegovom pričom koju piše o redovniku u vrijeme starog Bizanta. Radnja je prekinuta samo u jednom dijelu, kada su seanse s psihijatrom ispričane iz perspektive psihijatra, ne Gorana, i kada autor daje svoju objektivnu sliku Goranovog stanja.

Na početku se Goran nalazi u svojevrsnoj depresiji. Ipak, cijela Goranova evolucija je neuvjerljiva. Nije jasno kako je Goran završio u depresiji, te kako je interpretacija snova kroz psihoanalizu dovela do preobrazbe. U tom smislu, psihoanaliza je ispala kao neka vrsta magije, kao i Goranov nesvijesni život koji nudi ključ za razumijevanje Goranovog svjesnog života.

Knjiga je dobila nagradu T-portala za najbolji roman 2008. godine, a može se kupiti kod Profila.

Edmund White: My lives

In this memoir, author organizes his memories around different subjects with titles like My Father, My Mother, My Blonds, My Master. Each is a closed subject, a story in itself, even those about his parents, since they were separated. They are all well written, and interesting to read. Some of them overlap with his other book, The Boy's Own Story, where he described his adolescence.

The most brilliant part is the chapter My Master where author describes his masochistic relationship with a young master. At that time, author is 64, an established writer and lecturer, and the master is an actor with age close to 30. The relationship evolves and eventually breaks up. Author is devastated. What surprised me here, was not just the honesty with which author describes his experience, but how such a relationship can have real emotional meaning and impact. It is really a window to another world.

In this autobiographical account, the author is remarkably honest, not hiding uncomfortable facts, impulses, or situations where he acted in a way that would be judged as morally unacceptable. On the other hand, the author grew up after the end of World War II, so if he followed the norms of the day, he would never live fully.

The author's website can be found here, and the book can be ordered on Amazon.

Anne-Marie Garat: Aden

Ce livre décrit trois jours dans la vie d'un homme de 45 ans, quand il entre dans une crise d'identité où son monde tombe peu un peu. Il y a plusieurs événements dehors lui: il est en train de divorcer de sa femme, sa mère finit dans l'hopital et il découvre qu'il travaille pour les marchands des armes. Mais, il y a aussi les problèmes dans lui-même. Quand il était jeune, il a échappé le banlieue de Paris et sa vie d'un fils des immigrés, en entrant dans une école pour les ingénieurs à Paris. Il n'a jamais fait le paix avec son origine. De plus, il s'était perdu dans le travail et le monde abstrait de l'informatique pour échapper sa vie prive.

En lisent le livre, on apprend peu un peu d'histoire de cet homme. Il n'y a pas beaucoup de dialogues, nous sommes plutôt avec Aden quand il est dans son appartement, à son Agence où il travaille, ou a l'hopital chez sa mère. Il est seul la plupart du temps. C'est plutôt un roman psychologique, où on voit l'evolution du charactere.

Parce que le roman touche la question des immigres, c'est un peu semblable au roman de Marina Lewycka, The Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian. Les deux touchent les échos de la grande guerre en Europe et comment les enfants des immigrés de l'est sont intégres à son pays adoptif d'ouest.

L'auteur de livre est obtenuée le Prix Femina a 1992 pour ce livre. On peut l'acchater chez la FNAC.

Julijana Matanović: Zašto sam vam lagala

Radi se autobiografskim zapisima autorice, koja je odrastala u selu Mederovac kod Našica u šezdesetim i sedamdesetim godinama 20. stoljeća. Knjiga je skup zasebnih tekstova okupljenih oko motiva bitnih za odrastanje autorice. Tako ćemo naći Čitaonu, Podravku, Luster i oko svakog od njih, autorica priča priču o vlastitom djetinjstvu.

Na mnogo mjesta nas autorica unese u vlastiti svijet, onako kako je on njoj izgledao u to doba. Također dobijemo mnogo socioloških lekcija, o odnosu između generacija u bivšoj Jugoslaviji, o tadašnjim kućanskim poslovima i materijalnom bogatstvu, društvenom i ekonomskom uređenju, te lekcijama koje su se učile u školi. Na momente knjiga djeluje kao muzej o prošlom dobu, a opet se uspijemo uživiti u njen lik. Broj ljudi spomenut u knjizi je ogroman, a sve njihove rodbinske veze je također teško pohvatati. Ali to također govori o vremenu kada su svi ti odnosi bili itekako bitni.

Tekst je pisan jako dugim zavisno-složenim rečenicama, i jako je dalek od govornog jezika na koji smo danas navikli, tako da je težak za čitati, i zaista zahtjeva koncentraciju. Drugi efekt stila je da nas autorica drži na distanci, s tim jako književnim jezikom se autorica postavlja između nas i njenog direktnog tadašnjeg iskustva. Barem ja nisam uspio uvijek suosjećati s njom u nekim dramatičnim trenucima ispričanima u knjizi. Pročitat ću još neku njezinu knjigu, da vidim da li je taj stil specifičan za knjigu ili ne.

Ono što je možda najljepše je da, premda je autobiografskog karaktera, nije pisano u ispovijednom stilu, niti linearno u vremenu. Jako puno priča je uključeno i isprepleteno, autorica ide naprijed-nazad u vremenu, te nije sve odmah jasno izrečeno. Na početku smo puni pitanja, na koje tek polako dobivamo odgovor, a katkada ni do kraja. Tko su zapravo njezini roditelji, gdje su, koju ulogu imaju ljudi koji su je odgajali, itd.

Jedino zaista nisam razumio naslov, te kako je on vezan uz ispričane priče.

Knjiga je doživjela nekoliko izdanja (ja sam čitao deseto), i možete ju kupiti ovdje.

Michael Cunningham: The Hours

The book follows a day in lives of three characters separated by decades in time, yet connected in how they feel in life. They are lost, depressed, overwhelmed by life. One of the characters is Virginia Woolf, and in two other characters one can find an echo of Woolf's book character Mrs. Dalloway. The book is slow, and to understand the true relationship between all three characters one has to wait until the end (so I won't tell it).

You've probably seen the movie adaptation of the book, and it follows the book extremely closely. Personally I found the movie more powerful than the book. For example, conversation between Woolf and her husband at the train station is much better done in the movie.

What is the strong point of the book is really the atmosphere of how it is to be each of these characters. We don't gain the whole insight in their personalities, it's more a feeling of how it is to be in their skin on that particular day.

The author was awarded with a Pulitzer Prize for Fiction for this book in 1999. The book can be ordered on Amazon.

Paul Monette: Becoming a Man

In this memoir, Paul Monette describes his growing up as a gay man, from the first childhood memories where he played with another boy in a barn, through his school and college years, up to his fight to define his sexuality by having relationships with men and women in young adult age. The book ends when he falls truly in love with another man for the first time. He was born just at the end of the Second World War in an area around Boston.

By reading this book, one can gain insight into how was it to be gay then, not just through Monette's experience but also through gay men he meets in the book, older and younger than him. There are episodes of him being a teenager and having sex with an older man, him being a teacher having sex with his pupil and so on. The world in which they all lived is given with lots of details, so one can really gain insight.

The story is told by an author in his forties when he is already dying of AIDS complications. One can feel he is very rushed to tell every detail, and sometimes it is a bit too much. There are lots of characters passing through the book, so it is a bit tyring to memorize all the people he knew and everything he did. It is indeed an account of everything that happened to him up to the age of cca 25. By the time the book comes to the end, I've felt exhausted. The end also came too abruptly for me, without insight why was falling in love with that guy so different from previous experiences.

One can feel two voices, of the author-narrator (age 45) and of the author-then (age below 25). The author-narrator is very tough on himself, with severe judgment passed on what is happening to author-then. The author-narrator is especially tough on times when author-then has acted cowardly and unconsciously, whereas such behaviors were totally understandable, given the circumstances in which he lived. I've found that a bit irritating, since it interferes with the story, but on the other hand, one then gets another information about the author himself.

This is the first memoir I've read that deals with growing up as a gay man. It is a realistic account (or list if you want) of everything that happened, so there's no point writing another one in the same style. The book is considered a classic of American gay literature and it got the National Book Award in 1992 in the nonfiction category. You can order the book on Amazon.

Hrvoje Šalković: Pravi se da ovo nisi vidio

Radnja knjige je put oko svijeta jednog potomka hrvatskih iseljenika u Melbourneu. Kreće na put upoznajući stanovitog Charlieja, obiđe svijet, te doživi transformaciju. Izađe iz svojeg kalupa, te postane samopouzdaniji, životniji, i svjesniji vlastitih želja u životu. Karakter doživi tu transformaciju odbacujući standardni obrazac rada, kredita i obitelji, te živjeći od jutra do sutra, s onim što ima u džepu, ako treba i ilegalno. Charlie je njegov učitelj na tom putu, pun iskustva, nekonvencionalan i radikalan.

Očekivao sam puno od ove knjige, pošto je dobila VBZovu nagradu za najbolji neobjavljeni roman 2006. godine. Ipak, knjiga je neuvjerljiva, na momente repetitivna i dosadna. Dijelovi su iritantni, naročito lik Charlie u kojeg ne dobivamo nikakav uvid, osim njegovih pretjeranih priča o svemu i svačemu. Knjiga je puna tipiziranih fantazija straight muškarca, gdje dobri komadi salijeću naše likove čim ih vide na ulici, bilo to u Beogradu ili Kanzasu. Cilj putovanja je naravno što više pića, droge, sexa i nekonvencionalnog ponašanja kroz što glavni lik doživljava svoju duhovnu transformaciju. I to je možda jedan od puteva, ali ovdje ne osjetimo točno zašto.

Autor ima svoj website, na kojemu se mogu naći i ostale njegove knjige, te izvaci iz medija. Za naručiti, vidi VBZ website.

(English version of author's website where you can find more about the book)